It is not uncommon for us to describe our lives in terms of the struggles- what we have overcome and how we did it – its akin to what I said in the first post – which was we focus more on what isn’t working than what is.
When I first came to San Francisco so many years ago – I was very much in love with my first husband. The city’s beauty and excitement (and low prices for housing etc) made those years full of adventure and joy. I felt like I had landed in paradise and before the expression was common; living the dream.
My husband died tragically in a story too long to tell. It unleashed years of sorrow, anger, blame and resentment. I started to define myself by the struggle and how I was dealing with it moment by moment.
It was all about the “headwinds” I was managing and the stronger the gusts the more value I saw in my experience. And of course the stories of my experience began to be told – like the kids playing the telephone game; the story included more imaginative elaboration with each telling.
It was many years – far too many years – before I realized that there were blessings in each step of the journey – the actual tailwinds were sending me into new horizons, with new insights and I began to be grateful. It is a truth we often forget – that every moment has to have occurred just the way it occurred, for us to be here in our lives, now. If we change one aspect – it creates what I have just learned is the “George Bailey effect.” This is the time of year when schmaltzy people like me watch for the umpteenth time, It’s a Wonderful Life.” This year I saw something new – the George Bailey effect – what would life look like without the blessings we received, AND without the blessings that we ARE?!
It is easy to focus on what George Bailey thought he didn’t get – his travels – more money and adventure and lose sight of the blessings he accumulated and provided. It took an angel who showed him the tailwinds – all that he had given, while it looked like he was in the headwinds of his life- George Bailey- the richest man in town. (watch the movie if you haven’t).
So too with our lives – all that we have experienced as who we are is something to be monumentally grateful for- and noticing that at each turn of the road, there were and are people, moments, gifts that we were given along the way.
And while we are at it, remember that all aspects of the past can be reframed from the heart of gratitude. Something like a fire in a nearby town can be described as a disaster (and that has truth) or as an amazing example of life lived with love and gratitude (also a truth). It depends on where our hearts are focused and the quickest way I know – to move our hearts to fully open – is through the practice of gratitude.
“Like other forms of practice, gratefulness makes us
more resilient and flexible, and also offers
a way to frame and learn from everything
that unfolds in our lives.”
Kristi Nelson
SO THIS WEEK, and in order to get the free e-book, please select a gratitude practice for the week.
The choices are:
– keep a daily journal of 5 things that happened that day that brought you gratefulness. (think further than stuff).
– Or write a gratitude note or letter to someone who impacted your life in the tailwind of challenge. They can be living or dead; just do it from your heart and put it in a safe place.
Share something about it in the comments section and we will get you the free e-book on cultivating Spiritual Intelligence.
Spiritual Intelligence is something we need more of to guide us in these transformational times and to help us see the Peace that we already are! Now, that is something to be grateful for.
I look forward to your comments.
Also, don’t forget to like us on Facebook at @SolutionsInsightOut
