SAY YES TO LIFE, In spite of everything
The title of this blog is also the title of a newly released book of writings by Viktor Frankl. For those of you who may not have heard of Viktor – he is also the author of Man’s Search for Meaning.
He wrote that book 9 months after being freed from the Nazi concentration camps of which he was a prisoner. He was actually moved from Auschwitz to Buchenwald and Dachau. He became internationally acclaimed for both his book and his therapeutic modality known at the time, as Logotherapy. The basics of the therapy are that meaning is what gives us hope, resilience, tolerance, joy and all the other strengths and emotions we so long for. He discovered this approach while in the worst possible circumstances – he lost both his parents and his pregnant wife while struggling to stay alive himself. He discovered that if his fellow prisoners made a decision to find meaning in their lives they also were able to experience joy – in many cases to survive the ordeal of the holocaust.
Many asked how could this be – how could there be meaning in such horror- perhaps many still ask it today. But the meaning of course was not in the horror – it was in the decision. It boiled down to the understanding of a basic question – do we ask “What can I expect from life?” If we ask this question, in these particularly challenging times, we are bound to hear frustration, anger, fear disappointment, and on and on. Here in California, where there seems to be resistance to carefulness for ourselves and others, we are expecting life to cooperate with us -to bend to our will -in spite of plentiful evidence to the contrary. Dr. Frankl points out that asking this question will never lead us to meaning. If asked during his experience in the camps, most certainly the answer would have been death.
If we turn the question to “What does life expect of me?” What is life calling for in this moment? -we immediately begin to see the threads of meaning appearing in our awareness. What he saw when people made the fundamental decision to ask that question was the best of human nature on the scene – sharing meager amounts of food – lifting each other when bodies were weak – telling jokes or making music to touch the beauty of life in the darkest of moments. The fact that we as human beings, have this ability, is beyond amazing.
Eventually what Dr Frankl shared with patients for many years after the War was over – was how to find purpose to their existence – how to claim and commit to the duty of humanity – to give and serve the other.
I admit upon reading this new release of his work, that I recognized that I lost sight of my own purpose in this chaotic, uncertain, inconvenient and tiresome ordeal. It had begun to feel like it was about surviving the crisis – waiting for it to be over – so that I could go back to focusing on something else. What I realized was all that energy could be used for what gives life – not what helps us survive…what adds joy not what will produce joy. And yes I also realized that it is as simple as making a decision, and asking the right question.
Recently a young woman I mentor, took a car trip to Boise Idaho where there is a memorial to Anne Frank. We discussed all the moaning and complaining about lockdowns, and social distancing and both of us realized together that if Anne Frank could find hope in a tiny space – devoid of human connection – then what exactly were we moaning about? Likewise for me Dr. Frankl’s call to Love – in remembering what he taught – that no circumstance can rob us of this gift – and any belief it can – that life is about getting the best circumstances working on our behalf – is truly a misunderstanding of this gift.
This week ask yourself some deeper questions – find a moment to see what the moment is asking of you – I guarantee it will contain the call for LOVE. Finding your purpose in this difficult time, will give you more than you can possibly imagine.
