The Pillars of Joy
A few years ago Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama wrote a book together – The book of Joy- lasting happiness in a changing world. Little did they know how much it was going to change. Or maybe they did. I have met both these amazing Spiritual Leaders. Desmond Tutu came to Reno a number of years ago to talk about how Apartheid had ended in South Africa. It was an unforgettable evening of inspiration and stories of enduring suffering while laughter filled the room. Several years ago I heard the Dalai Lama speak in Canada and went through the receiving line to meet him and to accept my white scarf. As it was my turn, he began to giggle with joy as his forehead touched mine and I received his blessing. I remember walking away with this sense of yes – you guessed it – Pure Joy. We don’t speak or hear much of Joy these days – we can barely eke out moments of happiness in the upside down world we are living in – trying desperately to find a place of equilibrium amidst the change.
Both of these amazing people have lived through unspeakable challenges. The Dalai Lama, being forced out of Tibet and his entire way of life – and Desmond Tutu watching the horrors of unrest in his country as well as the difficult period of healing that followed Nelson Mandela’s election to President. How did they do it – How do we do it?
Both of them included both attitudes and actions in their descriptions and they identified the three pillars of joy.
1- The ability to reframe our situation. In the case of the Dalai Lama he realized that because he was chased out of Tibet – he brought mindfulness and compassion to the West. Without that traumatic event, he would have remained in the life he thought he was destined to live. He even thanks the Chinese in his meditations and prayer for their gift. Desmond Tutu reflects on how the imprisonment of Nelson Mandela led to his transformation and understanding of reconciliation as the way out of the pain. It saved his country from bloody revolution – a saving that would never have occurred without 27 years in prison.
2- The ability to experience gratitude. Bishop Tutu began his talk in Reno by displaying deep gratitude for the part the United States played in ending Apartheid. I remember being in tears at his deep sincerity in thankfulness to us for supporting freedom for Black South Africans. I thought we should be thanking him for his example, leadership and spiritual depth,
The Dalai always begins with a grateful heart – sending that gratitude to all sentient beings everywhere for their part in Life – in Compassion and in provoking change. He bows to the Buddha within and says thanks for the journey including as I mentioned the Chinese for playing their part so well.
3-The choice to be kind and generous. The Dalai Lama has said on many occasions that his only religion is kindness. He emphasizes in his teaching how kindness is always a choice…always available – beyond any circumstance. Bishop Tutu shares how giving things away – especially the things we treasure – opens our heart wide to the world. How joy immediately fills the space of what we just gave away.
I think its fair to say that employing these three pillars might provide us some needed Joy in our lives. Reframing what we are experiencing is powerful. It allows us to see that all things provide a fork in the road – is it bitterness or is it Joy? I wrote for months on gratitude as an attitude of the heart. Recently I learned an entire process for deepening prayer beyond beseeching to standing firm in our conviction of blessing. The process begins with gratitude – so that our feeling tone is high as we begin the prayer. Being kind and generous is always needed – so needed now. I have been reminded lately of the truth that we are all carrying more than anyone knows. We keep our pain and loneliness to ourselves – we don’t want to bother anyone with our drama or our trauma- but when we do that – things can get heavy. Sharing kindness helps us be kind to ourselves and being generous gives joy as we watch another’s delight in the gifts.
Try these three this week and beyond – read the book – remember that Joy is always a choice.
