Radical Kinship
My mother had an often-repeated phrase when she wanted me to be more connected to my sister or my cousins or other members of the family. And I quote “blood is thicker than water.” I can remember even then, pondering that for a time, because it just did not seem to ring true. Flash forward many years, and I am living in California – no family closer than 2,000 miles and I am beginning a new life after a sudden and profound loss. Every holiday season but one in the last 40 years, has been celebrated with a created family. Inviting friends or looking to be sure that those without family, like me, had someone to celebrate with. In the beginning that was a move out of loneliness and a kind of rejection of my family of origin. Later it uncovered something that was fundamentally true – we are in kinship with everyone.
In longing for a better way and for a life that is good for everyone – I have come to realize that kinship is required. The kinship word I cannot take credit for using – it comes again from one of the books by Homeboy’s founder, Gregory Boyle – the power of kinship. It is a way of seeing Life – of others – of nature that immediately suggests how close we all really are. Another potential lesson from a pandemic could be – we are all interconnected, and did it take a contagious virus to show us the depth of that truth? Some days it certainly looks that way.
Beyond our color, or gender, or ethnic origins, or upbringing (I could keep going) there is a thread that weaves through us all to make this tapestry called life. When we pull back and just see “our family” or tolerate and forgive only those who are blood related, we are missing an enormous portal into the Renaissance. In spiritual circles, this is referred to as oneness and can carry an immediate esoteric mystery. I have found it to be much simpler. Nature has revealed to us that if a butterfly’s wings flap in Thailand the reverberation and potential event is felt on the other side of the planet. This could only be true if everything was connected to everything else.
When I arrived in California there was a book in counterculture groups entitled The Hundredth Monkey – (I think…if memory holds up). The basic premise was that monkeys on an island somewhere began washing their sweet potatoes before eating them…and suddenly somewhere else in the world monkeys began to do the same thing. There was no logical explanation,and it was the beginning of research in non-local communication. For me, it simply represents the point of this blog – all monkeys are related and share a knowing that is beyond our complete understanding.
If we saw everyone and everything as part of us – as critical to our unfolding the new – to addressing our visions and our longing – the world would literally transform overnight. Instead of that homeless man on the street corner, he is our crazy Uncle Louie who we love and help, or the annoying clerk who doesn’t want to wait on us was simply our stressed-out cousin who needs a better job; how would we respond?
As the holidays approach, consider radical kinship as possible -consider extending your love and open heart in every direction. Consider the possibilities that spring from radical kinship.
