From communicating to connecting
I have been reflecting on how many of my relationships rely on texting. I admit I am not a great texter…meaning I kind of use one finger at a time and frequently have typos and auto-corrects that can change my meaning in a flash. Sometimes that brings out some humorous exchanges, but most of the time it is just annoying for both parties. In the realization of the Renaissance, communicating is going to be more important than ever. Since it is revealing and unleashing the new, conveying that new way of being is critical.
But beyond communicating is the need to connect…and to be connected. Yes texting is efficient- meaning it seems to take less time -unless of course you are not fast at typing in that mode…it conveys information almost instantaneously while being able to include a photo if needed. But texting does not convey meaning…either what we mean by the words we select, or the deeper part of being connected to the person receiving the text. I recall in my early days with IBM, that we used a prototype internal product that was the beginning of email. I also remember attending a class on how to write emails that didn’t trigger the recipient over a misunderstanding or misperception. It took some time to get the hang of it and I am not sure we ever completely pulled it off. It soon became apparent that email was a way to disconnect as well- to give someone a piece of your mind, without having to deal with their response. Flash forward 20 years and you have the ability to block or unfriend someone on Facebook…far more anonymous but equally deadly to the idea of connection.
I can’t recall the last time I had a spontaneous conversation via phone or drop by, that wasn’t scheduled on my outlook calendar…or my old fashioned way of doing things, writing on the calendar. The digital age has given enormous strides in speed and access but I believe it has cost something in closeness and understanding. To be connected means to me we need to be more in our hearts than in our heads, more aware of the feeling tone in our communication than in the vocabulary. Of course this requires intent…pausing for a moment to ask ourselves – what am I wanting this person to feel in reading this text or email? Would it be wiser to call or have a virtual or in person coffee…what is the most important thing to me and how best to accomplish that.
I have been a heart math coach for many years now and there is a wonderful technique that would help all of this …called Freeze Frame. As if you are in a movie, you suddenly freeze the action – drop into your heart and breathe heartful breaths- focusing on something that conjures a feeling of warmth and caring in your heart area…then ask yourself…what is the best way to respond to this situation or problem? See what comes.
To usher in the new – a more just and global society- a reign or care as opposed to the reign of terror, needs tenderness – needs awareness of connection. Try an experiment this week of emphasis on connection and see both how you feel and how it is received. And of course, don’t forget gratitude as we enter a Holiday of Thanks. I am grateful for anyone and everyone who reads my blog.
