Never Argue for your Limitations
Recently I have been back in touch with an old friend from long ago and far away…actually he was a bit more than a friend. It’s been fun reconnecting and beginning the “catch up” process of over 35 years. While covering so many different topics in our conversations, I have begun to hear statements like…I am never going to do that again…..or I am never leaving here …….or I am one and done. It took me a minute to realize that those were voiced limitations. Most of us have at least heard that it is never a good idea to say never (wait what?) – but you get what I am pointing to….
Before I wrote my book last year, I had a lot of …”it’s too late”…”it will never work now” and some variation on too old, too tired, too busy …My beloved sister was often the greatest cheerleader in my life so when I told her a few years back that a book was in my dreams but I thought it was too late; I still remember her beautiful response…”Remember Deb -Grandma Moses sold her first painting at 91.” I am not yet approaching that age bracket, so it really worked. And I did write the book, publish the book and am still learning how to promote the book. Had I continued to argue for perhaps logical but nevertheless limited thinking, there would be no book.
I can think of so many times I thought I would “never” and found myself doing exactly what I said I would never do. It actually takes more energy to protect yourself than it does to just go with things and see what they bring you…those nevers brought me more blessings than anguish. When I went to work in New York City I was told I would never get IBM to send me back to California with a great job (but I did). When I told myself that buying lottery tickets and putting white light around them would never work – I won the lottery by doing exactly that! Years ago, when I was dating a guy from Switzerland and he attempted to teach me to ski, I said I will never try that again. But no – I did learn and came to love that powder in my face on a glorious Sierra Day.
When I said I would never marry and bury a husband (by remaining single) I most certainly did and one a great deal older than I- and as a result had an adventure of Love and growth that I could never (oops) have imagined. Thanks Billy
I would have missed out on so many wonderful moments if I had let my nevers hold. Including this rekindling of this friendship where I said “you will never see him again”. I doubt I will convince anyone to drop their nevers and trust Life to bring exactly what the heart needs – but I hope at least I have enticed you to consider the limitations on nevers. They can close the door of your heart and put a padlock on it- and that is NEVER a good thing.
Happy Friday- 😊
